What within me is in the way of getting to where I most want to be?
Now that I have examined where I am in my life and where I would like to be, whether it is a tangible goal or a spiritual ideal, I need to examine what is in my way, what is blocking me from progressing to where I would like to most be. When pondering this question we need to look at what is limiting us, holding us back from our desired goal or state.
Limiting Beliefs
Most of the time what stops us from becoming the person we envision ourselves as being are limiting beliefs. We tell ourselves we are not good enough, that we can’t do it, we are not worthy, etc. If I believe I can’t do something it makes sense that I will fail. If I tell my self that I am not good at something I won’t take the chance of exploring an opportunity farther.
I’ve had trouble writing this post over the last couple of days due to a belief I have: I am not a good writer. I tell myself that a lot and at times it makes writing blog posts agonizing. I believe that I do not communicate my ideas clearly. Yet, when I read the comments people leave I find that my belief is not true.
Where do I most want to be in my life?
Ah, this is the question of all questions. Most times when I ponder this question I can feel my heart soar. Even as I write this and think about the question I can feel my heart wanting to burst out and be free of the limitations of self. I feel like that bird with the broken wing who longs to fly once again.
In the introduction I mentioned that this question leads to a goal or dream but Jean at the cheerfulmonk left a comment that it takes a lot of stress of herself if she focuses “on being curious, exploring and having an adventure rather than pushing for a goal/dream.” Her comment made me think about approaching this question with a sense of wonderment. So, rather than approaching this question as having an end result like a goal I can meditate or think about the question with my heart and spirit opened to the possibilities that exist, not to necessarily limit myself to something tangible.
I read through some of my journals from the empowerment workshops I attended on Friendship Island and I found that the answers to where do I want to be in my life usually were images that were more symbolic and less goal oriented. I’ve already mentioned the bird who wants to soar. I also found a rose bush in full bloom, a diamond that shines brightly even though it’s flawed and an image of myself standing on the front of a large sailboat, arms opened wide to take in the love of others.
In order to change and grow I have to take stock of where I am in my life at this moment. I need to look at the positive and negative and accept the answers that I find. If I can’t accept my life as it is in the moment then I cannot truly change.
When I live in denial of who I am at a given moment I don’t have to take any action.
The alcoholic who is in denial doesn’t have to stop drinking because, of course, her drinking is not a problem. But once she takes that first step of admitting and accepting she is an alcoholic, that her drinking is a problem, and wanting to change then action is required.
For me, denial keeps me stuck and hitting the proverbial brick wall and asking myself why things don’t change. I blame things like having fibromyalgia and depression for my lot in life. I rely on excuses to cover up my failings. I sit and wish that things were different and when I try to make changes I seem to always end up back where I started. I don’t have a true sense of self or my position in life making it impossible to move forward.
Acceptance is the key to change.
Yet when I accept where and who I am then I can start to take the steps needed to work towards where I want to be. By asking the question, who am I right now and seeing my self in a true light, without judgement, then I can stop fighting, making excuses or hiding. Action then becomes a requirement if I truly want my life to change. I become humble.
This is a first in a series that I am doing about 4 Questions to Ask to Facilitate Change.
I had a fair amount of time over the last few days to think since I wasn’t feeling well and unable to go on my trip to Chicago. I started thinking about retreats I started taking back in the summer of 1985 on Friendship Island in Maine. The retreats were “empowerment workshops” for women led by one or two people from the therapeutic community and other holistic practitioners like massage therapists and healers. For several years I would spend one summer weekend on that island with no phones and no interruptions. They are memorable times.
Each workshop would start on a Friday night with a guided meditation that centered around 4 questions. The wording of the questions changed year to year depending upon the area in our lives being explored but in general they go like so.
The beauty of these questions is that they can be worded to deal with a specific area in our lives or all encompassing when we feel that we are off the beam. They can be answered quickly to see what comes right to mind or meditated on to find that voice inside ourselves.
I woke up early this morning with the sun streaming in through my window and a purring cat in my face. I went to the kitchen and made coffee and I have to say the coffee is near perfect. The birds are chirping outside as I write this post and I have to say, life is good.
I am not a religious person but I do believe in a power greater than myself, whether it be God or the Universe. I keep my heart opened to what that higher power has to offer me. I have a friend who is Baha’i and have gone on a few retreats with her that have enriched my spiritual beliefs and life. At one retreat I came across a prayer that sang to me and I thought about it last night after I wrote my post on evolving. The prayer is
God! Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.Â
O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.Â
When I woke up this morning I felt my spirit had been refreshed and gladdened. Today I am turning my worries and fears over to the Universe.  By letting go of my troubles I can open my heart up to others and be of service in some way.
How do you refresh your spirit?
