This is a first in a series that I am doing about 4 Questions to Ask to Facilitate Change.
I had a fair amount of time over the last few days to think since I wasn’t feeling well and unable to go on my trip to Chicago. I started thinking about retreats I started taking back in the summer of 1985 on Friendship Island in Maine. The retreats were “empowerment workshops” for women led by one or two people from the therapeutic community and other holistic practitioners like massage therapists and healers. For several years I would spend one summer weekend on that island with no phones and no interruptions. They are memorable times.
Each workshop would start on a Friday night with a guided meditation that centered around 4 questions. The wording of the questions changed year to year depending upon the area in our lives being explored but in general they go like so.
The beauty of these questions is that they can be worded to deal with a specific area in our lives or all encompassing when we feel that we are off the beam. They can be answered quickly to see what comes right to mind or meditated on to find that voice inside ourselves.
As I looked through my notebooks and saw the different answers I had from year to year it was eye opening. In my 20s I focused a lot on relationships, especially the romantic kind. In my 30s I was learning to live with the fibromyalgia and how that defined me. In my 40s I know where I am right now and am in a comfortable rut. It’s a good time for me to start asking these questions and moving forward with the answers.
The first question is about taking inventory of who I am at this point in time. The second question leads to a goal or dream. The third question is what is limiting me to achieving my goal or dream. And, the last question is what I need to be the person I envision being. I will elaborate more on each question over the next week as how I view them and how they apply to me right now.
Do you have a routine of taking stock of where you are in your life and where you would like to be?
2 Responses for "4 Questions to Facilitate Change: An Introduction"
Hi, Ellen,
I just checked your site today and was sorry to hear that you couldn’t make it to Chicago. I thought of you more than once this weekend, and I pictured you at SOBcon.
Thanks for writing about change. For me quiet periods without much change are healthy, for a while. I can tell when they start turning into ruts because I start feeling restless. Then I start looking for the next step to take. I know from experience that I need to alternate between those quiet periods and periods of challenge.
I agree with you about the need for non-judgment so we can see things clearly. You mention self-acceptance…I also think a healthy dose of love never hurts. And thinking of ourselves as evolving beings, just fine where we are and always changing, helps a lot.
I save myself a lot of stress when I focus on being curious, exploring and having an adventure rather than pushing for a goal/dream. It’s not that I don’t have aims in life, it’s that my tendency is to become overly motivated and push too hard. My big hesitation in tackling a new challenge is that I have to be careful not to get so turned that I don’t get enough sleep.
Again, thanks for writing about this topic. I’ll definitely keep visiting.
Thanks once again for a great comment. I can relate with not getting much sleep when I grab hold of a new challenge because I get so absorbed. It’s hard to fall asleep and then the moment I wake up the mind is going again.
I like the idea of being curious and exploring that way the emphasis is on learning and not always on achieving.
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